


and what's small turns to a friendship, a friendship turns to a bond

by thekaidonovskys



Series: we found love in a hopeless place [14]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Dom Clint Barton, Dom Steve Rogers, Friendship, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Sub Bucky Barnes, Sub Phil Coulson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:18:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6493507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekaidonovskys/pseuds/thekaidonovskys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And Clint will realise, looking back later, that this was the moment that the cutest sub friendship in existence finally began.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've always had it planned that Phil and Bucky will be adorable subby best friends - but I never actually established how that came about. Here it is.

The team are family. Plain and simple. They have their good days, their bad days, but all consider themselves to be close with everybody in the building.

Some, of course, are closer than others. Relationships aside, Natasha and Clint's epic friendship is easily the strongest bond, forged through fighting and other unspeakable circumstances. Tony and Bruce have a wonderfully nerdy science bros thing going on, Natasha and Pepper unite as the only two females in the building, and Steve and Thor have some sort of super-strength club. They're connected in their similarities.

It makes perfect sense, then, that Bucky's arrival will form an immediate submissive bond between him and Phil. Even if they don't sub out together, there's enough in common to make them fast friends.

Only, it isn't so fast. Because the two get along, sure, and are perfectly friendly - but for the first few months, there's nothing more to it than the occasional sharing of space and talking, and that's usually in the company of others. The stereotypes of submissive friendships don’t seem to be being met.

Clint's only a little disappointed, really. He loves the idea of Phil having a subby best friend, but he knows better than to force it. Phil hasn't had one since his teenage years, after all, and Bucky definitely has his own things to work through before he's bonding with anybody except Steve. So, when the anticipated friendship doesn't take off as planned, Clint lets it go. It’s not like any of them are any good at conforming to stereotypes, after all.

Until the day it all begins - and really, it shouldn't be surprising at all. Whenever anything happens in this family, it happens suddenly, unexpectedly, and permanently.

On the day in question, Phil has a rare and entire day off in which his unread email count actually isn't in the triple figures. Clint, meanwhile, is probably the reason the number is so small, with a stack of incomplete reports waiting on him. Thankfully, Phil is content to have a quiet day in, relaxing while Clint works - he jokes, initially, that they're finally acting like a proper couple should, with the Dom working and the sub relaxing at their feet.

Of course they both laughed that off, but Clint has to admit, now that it's happening, that there is something to it. To work on his reports while Phil curls up on his huge cushion at Clint's feet and browses on his tablet is just plain homely. And homely, in the classic sense, isn't something they get a lot of. It also isn’t something Clint realised he wanted quite so much until his life with Phil began - now he craves the quiet nights in, the peacefulness, and the ease of having another person fit into his life so effortlessly. Since effortless is a rare word in their lives, it’s made all the more important when they do get days like these.

Clint wouldn't trade their lives in of course, not ever. But he's grateful they can have these quiet moments together, and glad to see Phil so relaxed for a change. As much as Clint admires Phil’s commitment to his job, and his work ethics, he wishes Phil would sometimes take it a little easier. Today is already important, even before there’s a knock at the door.

Phil's so relaxed, in fact, that he doesn't even stir at the noise. He looks up after a few seconds, as Clint's setting his laptop aside. "Oh," he says. "Should I -"

"I've got it, baby," Clint says, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before going to open the door.

It's Bucky, looking oddly determined. "Hey," he says. "So Stevie's been locked up in Tony's lab all day and I'm kinda bored. Any chance I can hang out here?"

Clint smiles and steps back. "Come on in. I'm doing some work, but I'm sure Phil will be glad for the company."

Bucky follows him to the living room, where Phil's still on his cushion, reabsorbed in his tablet. He notices them after a few moments and quickly finishes up. "Hey," he says to Bucky, setting it aside and shifting to slide off the cushion.

"Don't get up," Bucky says before he can, and sits down right across from him. "I'm so down for some floor time right now."

Phil blinks, then grins - and Clint will realise, looking back later, that this was the moment that the cutest sub friendship in existence finally began.

For now he just watches as Bucky pokes the edge of Phil's cushion. "Did Clint and Steve go shopping together or something?" he asks. "I've got the same one."

Phil shakes his head. "Tony furnished all the rooms when everybody moved in," he says. "None of the Doms had subs then, of course, but Tony wanted to allow for visitors and future relationships. I believe in addition to all of the furniture and accessories, he also included a... a Dom 'starter kit' in every bedroom, just in case anybody wasn't stocked up."

Bucky pulls a horrified face. "Please, please tell me Tony Stark did not provide our sex toys," he says.

"Depends. Does Steve ever get anything from the black box bolted into the bottom of the closet?"

"Oh my god," Bucky says, covering his face.

Phil actually starts giggling, which is seriously so fucking cute and the last thing Clint wants is to leave. But he also knows the subs will be even more relaxed without him hovering, so he ducks back in to pick up his laptop, kisses Phil's forehead, and tells them he'll be in the kitchen. Phil barely acknowledges him, which normally wouldn't be so cute, but today Clint's gonna let that slide. Phil has other things to focus on right now.

So Clint sets himself up in the kitchen and promises himself he'll actually get some work done. He's definitely not going to sit here and be distracted by how happy Phil looked when Bucky sat down on the floor with him, and how maybe this is going to turn into something seriously adorable with play dates and...

Some indeterminable time later, with no work done but many things imagined, a message pops up on Clint's laptop from JARVIS, advising him to check the front door. Curious, Clint goes, and opens the door to find Steve standing there. "Hey," Steve says. "JARVIS said you had a visitor?"

Now understanding, Clint holds a finger to his lips and beckons Steve to follow. Steve does, frowning, but the frown quickly fades when they stop in the door to the living room.

Bucky and Phil are still on the floor, now side by side with their backs to the couch, sharing Phil's cushion. The TV's on, switched to one of those infomercial channels, and they're both laughing. Bucky's head is on Phil's shoulder and they're holding hands.

It’s _adorable._

Steve withdraws, Clint following, and they're both grinning when they reach the kitchen. "That's the cutest," Steve says.

"Isn't it?" Clint says, handing a mug of coffee to Steve. "I just left them to it, so I don't really know how it came about - but I think Bucky came here hoping to make friends, and Phil was already subbed out and in the exact right frame of mind to encourage it."

"I wondered if they might become friends," Steve says. "It looked like it at first - but then the whole competition-that-wasn't-a-competition thing happened."

Clint nods. "Bucky stopped coming around as often after that," he says. "Phil didn't want to push him if he was uncomfortable."

"He was embarrassed," Steve says. “Which I can understand - he had a meltdown about not being perfect, in front of the sub he thought was more perfect than him. And then after that, I think he just thought he'd ruined the fledgling friendship. But then we had our publicity evening -"

"Ah," Clint says. “Suddenly Phil wasn’t so perfect?”

"For all Phil argued it, Bucky never quite felt like he could compare," Steve says quietly. “But that night showed him that they have different strengths. He got to see that the things that make him perfect for me are completely different to what makes Phil perfect for you, but both are perfect anyway. And he also got to hang out with Phil and make his night easier; and, I think, that’s when he realised that he did want to pursue the friendship."

"I think Phil's glad for it," Clint says, lowering his voice too. "He's never really had friends, and he's definitely not subbed out with anybody in a long time. Bucky's so unashamedly subby that I think he'll pull Phil a bit further out of his shell. And I like the idea of him having someone to bond with other than me. He loves everybody here like family, but..."

"But he doesn't have anybody like you have Nat," Steve says, and Clint nods. "I think they'll be good for each other."

"And if nothing else, they'll be cute."

"Amen. I guess we have to arrange play dates now?"

Clint laughs. "I think just relatively open doors will work," he says. "If they want anything more formal, they'll sort it out."

Steve nods. "Phil ageplays, right?"

"Yeah. About eight."

"Mm, maybe not. Bucky goes toddler."

Clint winces before he can help it. "Don't know how you manage that," he admits.

"Neither, some days," Steve says with a shrug. "But then, I barely manage Bucky when he's an adult either. Maybe Phil's gonna be a good influence on Bucky."

"As long as he doesn't teach Phil his misbehaving ways," Clint says. "I don't want a mouthy sub."

"I do," Steve says cheerfully. "Which is lucky, because that's what I've got."

"You really never were a threat," Clint realises. "You and Phil wouldn't have worked at all."

Steve's frowning. "You saw me as a threat?"

Clint shrugs. "Well, yeah. The whole completely obsessed with you thing?"

"Clint," Steve says quietly, shaking his head. "That man was sweet on you long before I showed up. Picked it straight away the first time I saw you two interact. He might have had a hero worship moment, but it was never more than that. It's always been you."

"Oh," Clint says. "Well. I mean, of course he's told me that, but... it's good to hear anyway. Since I've been gone on him for forever and all."

"That was equally as obvious," Steve says, smiling. "I think it was clear to everybody except you two - you were stupid about each other, and also scarily compatible."

"You can say that again. We were always on the same page working together - it’s why we’ve always been such a good team. But when we sat down and sorted it all out those first couple of days... obviously there's a couple of things that don't match up, but that's normal. The amount that does though is ridiculous. I never wanted to be a fater."

Steve laughs. "I don't think you were made for each other, though," he says. "I think you spent so long working together, learning the ins and outs of each other so fully so you could be a team, that you made _yourselves_ for each other. You learned how to be in sync a long time ago."

Clint nods thoughtfully, then grins. "Meanwhile, you and Bucky have been _breathing_ in sync for years."

"I wish you were kidding," Steve says.

Clint bursts into laughter, which prompts the arrival and curiosity of Phil and Bucky. "Share the joke?" Bucky asks, sliding up next to Steve and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Also, hi, Phil and I are BFF's now."

"We saw," Steve says, hugging him back. "It's cute."

Phil joins Clint, who's calmed back down now and holds out his arm, figuring Phil's after a hug as well. Instead Phil just steals his coffee, smirking at Clint over the rim. "Brat," Clint says fondly.

"You'd think so," Phil says after taking a sip, handing the mug back, "but it turns out I'm really not. Bucky's been telling me stories."

"Don't you go corrupting my good boy," Clint says to Bucky.

"I'm hurt," Bucky says. "Sir, tell him I'm well behaved."

"I would, babe, but I'm not in the habit of lying."

Bucky pouts. "Well, since you all hate me, I'm gonna go home and start dinner - because I'm a good boy." Steve rolls his eyes and Bucky smirks. "Phil, come over whenever. I'll tell you those other stories when Stevie isn't around."

With that, Bucky's gone. Steve frowns after him, then looks at Phil. "Stories?" Phil avoids eye contact, and Steve's eyes go wide. "Oh no he didn't - James Barnes, we talked about this!"

He follows Bucky, and Clint raises an eyebrow at Phil. "Stories?"

"Um. Maybe something about Steve's wildly embarrassing celebrity crush when he was younger?"

Clint laughs. "On who?"

"Bucky wouldn't tell me. Said he has to lure me in somehow."

"And are you lured in?"

Phil shrugs. "Kinda was already."

Clint wraps an arm around him. "You had a good afternoon, then?" he asks gently.

"Really good. Unexpected." Phil ducks his head a little, blushing. "It's not something I'm used to. All the _cutesy_ stuff. It doesn’t feel like me.”

“Hate to break it to you, sweet boy, but you’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Phil rolls his eyes, but he’s still blushing. “That’s different. Learning to sub out around you was weird enough - not bad weird,” he adds quickly. “Just… getting in touch with all the sub stuff I’d gotten used to ignoring. I wasn’t prepared for how many things I’d feel when I let myself feel them. And this is a whole other level, because it’s not _you_. But it's so easy - I feel like it shouldn't be so easy to be subby around someone who isn't you."

"That's good, baby," Clint reassured him. "From what I've heard, sub friendships are awesome - you get to chill out and sub out without shame. And you deserve awesome."

Phil smiles. "Same for Dom friendships, right? You and Steve looked pretty happy."

Clint hadn't really considered that. "I guess there's something to it," he says. "I mean, I've always liked Steve, but there's definitely something about knowing that my sub and his sub are... how did Bucky put it? Oh yeah, _BFF's_."

Phil rolls his eyes. "His words, not mine."

"Still cute," Clint says, smirking. "Anyway. Yeah, I guess that makes it a whole other kind of friendship. We can hang out while you two, I don't know, braid each other's hair or something."

Phil glowers at him. "My hair isn't long enough to braid," he points out.

Clint waits.

"Bucky said I could braid his," Phil finally mutters. "Oh, shut up," he continues when Clint cackles. "I'm not gonna."

"You can do whatever your heart pleases," Clint says, and he means that genuinely. "Have fun, Phil. It's always nice to see you relax. You don't do it enough."

"I relax with you," Phil says, just as genuinely. "More than anybody. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do, dearest. The same back at you."

Phil hums happily. "You don't call me that unless you're feeling really affectionate," he says.

Clint hadn't realised that. "Well I should say it all the time then," he teases lightly. "I'm always feeling affectionate towards you."

"And now you're just being sappy," Phil says, smirking. Clint rolls his eyes and Phil laughs, kissing him. "I love you," he says.

"I love you too, dearest," Clint says pointedly - but, of course, genuinely. "Oh, and baby?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let Bucky corrupt you with his wicked ways. You're my good boy."

"Of course, master," Phil says softly, his tone of the perfect submissive -

Then he winks. Clint groans and covers his face, muttering about coming up with new punishments while Phil snickers. He sincerely hopes he doesn't have to actually go through with that.

But no matter what, Phil’s happy. And Clint knows that Bucky’s influence is going to be a very positive thing indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next fic: (after doubling back to continue ageplay fic) I'm thinking either one where Phil has a bad day and Clint is there at the end of it to make him feel better; or one where Phil has a terrible day and Clint isn't there (but others are). Let me know!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky doesn't even acknowledge Steve, focusing on Clint. "I don't know what happened," he says, "and if it was me I'm really sorry, but Phil's just run out of here looking like he was either gonna throw up or melt down."
> 
> It only takes Clint a second. "Oh, fuck," he says, on his feet immediately. "The yelling."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory apologies about lack of posting, life being busy, etc. I'm moving house next week so it's all hectic. I also end up writing completely unrelated things, either non-verse or stuff that I think I'm going to have to put into a fic called Requests - all the stuff people throw in the comments, like wanting to see follow up on previously mentioned things, or what ifs. I love what ifs. But at least this is here now.

Steve is so glad Bucky's made friends.

And there are many reasons for that - dealing with the trauma and understanding that people don't hate him; not becoming completely emotionally dependent on Steve; and just generally having good friendships like everybody deserves - but one is a little more selfish than the others. Because really, Steve is so glad to share the exhausting whirlwind that is Bucky so he doesn't have to handle it all himself.

Steve loves Bucky. God, he loves Bucky - that isn't even in question. He'd never trade him in or try to change him. Corner time and weekly punishments are just a part of how they are, because Bucky is wild and free and still completely Steve's, and Steve loves it and loves him. He doesn't want anybody better behaved, because then he'd be bored.

(That's nothing against Phil, of course, who is the most well behaved sub that Steve's ever seen. Phil's just more perfectly suited to someone like Clint, who wants someone simple and sweet to come home to. Their whole relationship is just something adorable, that Steve admires but really doesn't want.)

But for all that Steve loves Bucky, sometimes he also loves peace and quiet. And while occasionally that can be brought about by use of a gag and promises of rewards, Steve is so glad he now has the option of steering Bucky in Phil's direction and taking a break for a few hours while the two sub out together.

It's so cute to see Phil and Bucky together, mainly because it's so weird. When Phil arrives home from work, suited up and mild mannered, and Bucky's there with his hair flowing free and full of wild exuberance as usual, it seems like an impossible friendship. But the two just chill around each other, into that weird peaceful headspace that subs can go to when they're hanging out together. It's really something to see.

Steve likes seeing it. So does Clint. Hence this evening - hanging out in the main communal area, engaged in casual conversation with Clint, but mainly just watching Phil and Bucky being impossibly cute on the other side of the room. Bucky's always been overly touchy, and Phil's admitted he surprised himself with how tactile he is, and all up it leads to the two always holding hands or cuddling or just being _cute._ Tonight Bucky has his legs over Phil's, and Phil's head is on his shoulder as they look at whatever's on Phil's tablet. It does Steve's heart good to see it.

Clearly Clint's the same. "Thank you for Bucky, seriously," he says, rolling his shoulders back to release some tension. "Phil needed way more than I can give him tonight, and Bucky's doing that nicely."

"Everything okay?" Steve asks. Now that he thinks about it, Clint does look a little more stressed than usual.

"All good," Clint assures him. "Just one of those days where people pissed me off - nothing serious, but I'm coming back down from a place of irritation so I'm a bit low on affection to dole out right now."

Steve nods. Those days happen. "But you get Bucky the next time he decides to literally cling to me all day," he says. "See if he can pass that on to Phil as well."

Clint chuckles. "I think that'd test even Phil's limits on affection, but we'll see -"

"That's not a fucking _answer_ , Bruce!" is all the warning they get before Tony storms in, slamming a stack of folders on the counter and going for the coffee. Steve and Clint both jump, then turn to stare.

"What do you want me to tell you?" Bruce says, following him in. His voice isn't raised, of course, but it's weary. "It broke. The experiment failed. The data lied -"

"The data doesn't fucking lie!" Tony hits the counter for emphasis, and Bruce takes the coffee pot off him before he breaks it. "Something else is wrong and I am so fucking tired of everything _breaking!_ "

"You need sleep," Bruce says.

"Are you trying to tell me that the broken link here is me?"

"I'm trying to tell you that you're tired. If there's an error and your data is right, you'll find it on more sleep. If not, you'll be better equipped to process it in the morning."

Tony growls in frustration, but simmers down a little, taking the mug Bruce hands him with reluctant thanks. "I've done far more complex work on far less sleep, and it's never gone wrong like that before," he mutters.

"You're also getting older," Clint chimes in, and Steve chuckles.

Tony flips him off, but with no real heat. "Fuck you, Barton -"

That's when Steve sees Bucky crossing to them, looking worried, which of course makes Steve worried. "What's wrong, baby?" Steve asks.

Bucky doesn't even acknowledge Steve, focusing on Clint. "I don't know what happened," he says, "and if it was me I'm really sorry, but Phil's just run out of here looking like he was either gonna throw up or melt down."

It only takes Clint a second. "Oh, _fuck_ ," he says, on his feet immediately. "The yelling."

While Steve processes that, Clint's already gone. "Did that make sense to you, sir?" Bucky asks.

Steve sighs and nods, because now he remembers. "Phil's got a serious fear of people yelling," he says. "I accidentally put him on edge once, and that was just me raising my voice at you a little. This was a lot more intense."

Bucky frowns. "When was this?"

"When you... weren't you."

"Right," Bucky says with a nod. Steve is silently relieved and grateful that Bucky doesn't have his own freak out, which he occasionally does if Steve mentions those days.

Tony glances at the door. "Should I do anything? Tell him I'm not mad at him?"

Steve shakes his head. "Don't think it's necessary - he knows, or will know once the panic dies down. What you should do is get some sleep."

Bruce nods. "I'm with you on that. C'mon, Tony, let's go pass out."

Tony yawns and nods. "Tell Phil I'm sorry if you get the chance," he says, then follows Bruce out.

Bucky raises an eyebrow. "Are they going together?" he asks.

Steve shrugs. "Probably. They work past the point of exhaustion, then find the nearest bed and sleep. I think it's innocent, but it's not my business if it isn't."

"Pepper -"

"Is well aware."

Bucky thinks about that for a minute, then nods. "Okay."

Normally he'd make some kind of joke or innuendo - Steve frowns and wraps an arm around him. "You alright?" he asks. Maybe he has upset Bucky by bringing up the past after all.

Bucky sighs. "I didn't know how to help Phil," he says.

Steve squeezes his shoulder. "Not your job to," he says. "Clint will help."

"I know. Still wish I could've done something." Bucky shrugs and hugs Steve back briefly, before stepping away. "It's okay. Clint’s great. He’ll sort it.”

“Clint’s great, huh?”

“Jealous, sir?” Bucky says with a smirk, then laughs when Steve rolls his eyes. “Clint’s great, but you’re the best. Happy?”

“Over the moon.”

Bucky grabs his hand. “C’mon, let’s go home. My stories will be on soon.”

“You keep using that line and I’ll actually make you sit down and watch soap operas,” Steve says.

“Ew,” Bucky says, wrinkling his nose, and drags Steve out of the room. “You’d think, with all the marvels of modern technology, that trashy daytime TV would’ve gotten a little less…”

He trails off. They both stop.

In Phil's panic, he didn't get far. And while that's probably good, meaning Clint was able to get to him quicker, it also puts Phil in the hallway right in front of the lift. They can step around him easily, sure, but for a moment they don't. They just stop and take him in.

Phil's on the ground, knees tucked up to his chest and arms curled over his face and around his head. Steve's seen many a panic attack in his time (most of them from Bucky in the early post-Soldier days) and this has enough signs that Steve's pretty sure Phil's just coming down from one. Steve isn't familiar enough with Phil to tell if it was a really bad one, but he hopes not. The fact that Phil isn't hyperventilating is at least a good sign.

Clint's sitting across from him, hands on Phil's shoulders, waiting silently for Phil to become responsive again. He doesn’t even acknowledge them, too focused on Phil - which is exactly how he should be. He also looks sad, and older than his years.

Reminding himself to check in with Clint later, Steve leads Bucky around them and into the lift without a word. Bucky gives him a sad look and Steve wraps an arm around him, waiting until the lift door closes to speak. "Phil's gonna be okay, babe," he says.

"I know. 's still sad. Can I go see him when he's feeling better, if Clint says it's okay?"

"Of course. I'm glad you two are so close."

Bucky smiles a little. "Yeah. Never expected it really - big bad SHIELD agent and all. But he's as much of a softie as me and - and don't tell him I said this - but he's lonely."

Steve blinks. "Clint -"

"Is fucking wonderful," Bucky cuts in. "And it's not - he's not lonely _now_. He's happy now. But he's been lonely for so long, 'cause he never got to sub out with anybody. Don't think he's done it since he was a teenager, for fucks sake. So when I say he's lonely, I mean he's still dealing with years of loneliness."

Steve nods, understanding. "He's got friends now - and the best Dom he could have possibly gotten."

"Well, no, because he didn't take you up on your offer."

Steve rolls his eyes. "Best Dom for him," he clarifies. "If it had gone that way - and if Phil had wanted more from me than just a collar so he could keep doing his job - then I don't think he would have been unhappy, but he certainly wouldn't be as happy as he is now."

Bucky's thinking. "What if he had been yours," he says. "In whatever sense - just, if you'd collared him and he was legally your sub, and then I showed up. What would've happened?"

"Well I would hope that by then Clint would have gotten his act together and told Phil he loved him already," Steve says lightly, and Bucky laughs. "But if we're presuming no Clint in the picture - well, baby, I would've looked after you both the best I could. You know I'd never turn you away, just like you also know I'd never cast Phil out."

"And that's the right answer," Bucky says.

Steve laughs. "Oh, is it? Good to know."

“Well, I always said I’d share you anyway. For fun. Sharing you with Phil would be fun.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “And I’ve always said that one of you is enough for me to handle,” he says, because for all of their compatibility, this is the one main area where he and Bucky differ. “You know where I stand on open relationships.”

“Yeah, you’re boring about it,” Bucky says with a sigh. "You used to at least show me off sometimes."

Steve flicks his arm. "Behave," he says. "I told you I'd talk to some of the others about putting you on display, didn't I?"

"You did. Did you?"

"Sure did." Steve lets Bucky stew over that impatiently until they're back in their room. "Bruce and Natasha politely declined. Tony's interested, Thor's fascinated, and Phil and Clint are coming to take notes. And we're only doing it at all if you behave."

"I'm a good boy," Bucky says and curls up on the couch quietly next to Steve, clearly to try and prove it.

Of course that lasts all of half an hour.

Eventually, Bucky's got the channel on one of his weird storage locker buying shows, and Steve's in the kitchen making coffee. It's one of the only things Steve doesn't leave to Bucky when it comes to the kitchen - Bucky makes amazing food, but is yet to master a basic coffee machine.

The knock at the door while he's working on the coffee doesn't surprise Steve at all - it's been long enough that Phil's hopefully calmed down and been taken care of by Clint; and Steve knew if Bucky didn't seek out Phil, Phil would come to him.

Sure enough, it's Phil and Clint at the door. "Someone needed to come and reassure a certain someone else that it wasn't their fault," Clint says, smiling fondly.

Phil elbows him, but he's already looking over Steve's shoulder for Bucky. "He's in the living room; go on in," Steve says, stepping aside, and Phil heads in. "How is he?" he asks in an undertone to Clint.

Clint sighs. "Okay now," he says. "Rough one, though."

Steve gestures him into the kitchen, grabbing a couple of mugs of coffee and, after quick contemplation, a bottle of brandy. Clint nods gratefully and tips a generous splash into his coffee. "We saw him in passing," Steve says, sitting down across from him. "Panic attack?"

"Yeah. He has them so rarely too, it's such a shock when it happens."

Steve sips his own coffee, considering Clint. "The yelling thing," he says.

"Yeah. I don't know."

"You don't?"

"Nope. Because he doesn't."

"Oh," Steve says with quiet understanding. "One of those."

"Yup. Could be some repressed childhood thing, or an event he doesn't realise is actually significant... or he could just have panic attacks when people yell. Shit, I've got this weird earthworm phobia and I've never even touched one."

Steve has to laugh at that. "That's fair," he says. "And I think it's harder that way sometimes. At least with the rational ones with a root, you can kinda predict it or work on it a little."

Clint nods. "We do work on it," he says. "Not with exposure or anything, because yelling is such a hard limit and I'd never, but just making him talk about what he felt and why, to see if we can get anywhere with it. I don't think we will, to be honest, because it's so deep by now, but it's still good to try."

"How does he cope at work?" Steve asks. "SHIELD's a shouting ground if ever there was one."

"It's different. He's prepared there. All of his guards are always up when he's at SHIELD, just like all of ours are. When he's at home - and especially when he's actively subbing out - he's not prepared for it and it just hits the primal panic button. And it's different every time - sometimes he would have been able to handle that fine; today he couldn't."

"Yeah. I get it." Steve smiles when he hears the sound of laughter from the living room, and Clint does too. "They're good for each other," he says.

"And they're adorable," Clint adds, which goes without saying really.

Steve nods. "Buck told me Phil's been carrying around a lot of loneliness."

Clint's eyes go sad so fast. "He has. For so long he only had himself and his work. Then he got a team, which turned into a family. Then a Dom. Then a sub best friend. I think his head's still spinning sometimes taking it in - but I get it. I went from assassin on the run to gainful employment with a handler who gave a fuck and people who actually wanted to keep me alive and look after my health and wellbeing."

"You're good for each other too."

"I think so," Clint says. "I think we've always been good for each other. And I'm so glad we ended up here, but even if we'd ducked around each other for years to come, I would still have been glad to have him in my life the way I did. Of course I would never have known how sweet life is with him as my boy - but Phil's always been a huge part of my life anyway. I'm just so lucky, that he's mine."

"I'm more lucky," Phil says from the doorway, and Steve takes a moment to really look at him. His eyes are a little bloodshot and he's paler than normal, but otherwise he seems okay. "Sorry for interrupting. Can I grab some coffee?"

"Of course," Steve says. "You're welcome to the brandy too."

Phil chuckles. "I might just take you up on that." He fills a mug, then crosses to the table to pick up the brandy, pausing. "As long as that's okay?"

"Go for it, baby," Clint says, smiling up at him. "I'd be a hypocrite otherwise."

Phil tips a smaller amount into his mug. "Thank you, Steve," he says.

"My pleasure. Don't share that - Bucky doesn't get caffeine after six, and definitely not alcohol."

"I won't," Phil promises, smirking a little.

Clint beckons Phil down to his level so he can kiss him, soft and sweet. "We'll head home in about half an hour, okay?"

"Okay. You may have to extricate me from Bucky though - he's a real octopus."

" _Cute_ ," Clint says, and Phil laughs.

Once Phil's gone, Steve focuses on Clint. "How are you?" he asks.

"Me?"

"Yeah. Phil's fine, so now we can focus on you. I know how much it can get to you, seeing them that upset and not being able to do anything about it."

Clint sighs and nods. "Of course it does. Most other times if he's upset, I can help. With that, I just have to sit through it and wait. And I don't even get to be mad at Tony for it."

"He was apologetic," Steve says.

" _Tony_ was apologetic?" Clint asks, grinning. "Phil will be delighted." He sobers again and shrugs. "I love Phil. It hurts when he's hurting. But he's okay now, so I am too."

Steve nods, and leaves it there, because there’s really nothing else to be said. It’s just part of being a Dom.

They shift the conversation to more neutral topics for the next half hour, then head through so Clint can pick up Phil. “You don’t get him,” Bucky says as soon as they enter, tightening his grip on an amused Phil.

Clint laughs. “Sure, you can keep him,” he agrees. “He’s getting up at 3am tomorrow for work, so I’m more than happy for him to wake you instead of me.”

Bucky lets go fast, and Phil rolls his eyes as he stands. “Such love from both of you,” he says.

“Hey, I said I’d get up and make you coffee while you get ready,” Clint protests.

Phil smirks. “By which you mean you’ll stumble into the kitchen, pour milk into the section that takes water, and then be very confused for at least ten minutes about why the coffee didn’t work.”

Clint sighs. “Do you have to put up with this level of disrespect?” he asks Steve.

Steve laughs. “That would be polite for Bucky,” he says. “He’d tell me to go fuck myself if I tried to wake him before eight.”

"We can't all be as well-behaved as Phil," Bucky says completely unapologetically.

Phil rolls his eyes again. "Please. You could be just as well-behaved as me and you know it. You'd just be bored."

"So bored," Bucky agrees, crossing to Steve's side and octopus-ing to him instead. "Stevie likes me bratty."

"I also like the dishes being done when you say they will be," Steve says as firmly as he can.

"But I had company!"

"Yes, and now company is leaving. Go, or no allowance."

"You'd buy me all the pretty things my heart desires anyway," Bucky says, but lets go. "Bye, Phil. Make sure Clint's extra-sweet to you tonight."

Phil blushes slightly. "He always is," he says.

"Now that's cute," Bucky says, and disappears to the kitchen.

Steve sighs. "Sorry about him," he says - not that he's really sorry, nor was Bucky's assessment incorrect.

Clint, grinning, holds an arm out to Phil. "Don't be. He's clearly a handful, but he's also delightful."

"And he's way better behaved than he pretends to be," Phil says.

Steve smirks. "You think I'd put up with anything less?"

Clint laughs. "Thanks for letting us come by," he says. "Apparently I need to go be sweet to Phil now."

"I'm sure that won't be difficult," Steve says.

"It never is," Clint agrees, and leads a blushing Phil out.

Steve watches them go, imagining the quiet night in they'll have - Clint being caring and careful and making sure all of Phil's needs are met; Phil being sweet and well-behaved. For a moment, the softness of it all tugs at his heart.

Then a plate breaks in the kitchen, and Steve turns away. "Were you juggling again?" he asks.

"... maybe?"

"Corner."

Bucky's already there when he walks in, which is completely unsurprising. At least he's only smirking a _little_ this time. And there's only one broken plate, instead of _all_ _of_ _them_.

Steve sighs, and makes himself another coffee as he brainstorms a new punishment. He still wouldn't trade this in for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next fic: Not gonna spoil it. I started writing this back when I was writing the very first chapter, and it's finally time to post it. 
> 
> (P.S. This chapter was meant to come out before the one where Phil has a bad day and the team help out - I reference Bucky's caffeine rules in that one but only outline them here. Whoops.)


End file.
